Short One Liner Puns About Money: Heads Up, Some are Pretty Cringy

10 Money Puns for Poor People

1. What kind of music do broke people listen to? “Cash-strapped Hop”

2. When does a miserly person go shopping? “Penny pinching time”

3. Where do poor people keep their money? In their “wallet Depository”

4. Why don’t banks loan money to broke people? Because they’re “Not Credit-worthy!”

5. How do you recharge a bankrupt person’s battery? With some “Bill-et Juice”!

6. What did the cashier say after giving the poor man his change? “There’s your Coppers worth!”

7. What did the rich investor say to the homeless man begging for money? “I’m sorry, I don’t give Loose Change!”

8. What did the wallet say when it had no money in it? “I’m Assets Free!”

9. How do poor people come up with extra cash? By doing a “Loan-a-Friend” deal!

10. What did the banker say to the person who asked for a loan? “Sorry, I can’t make an Investment in you now”!

10 Money Puns for Rich People

1. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, but that’s what it takes to be a millionaire.”

2. “I’m so rich my bank account has its own bank account!”

3. “Why don’t you take a seat and let your wallet do the talking.”

4. “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to make money – just a banker!”

5. “Money talks- but only if you listen carefully.”

6. “It’s not how much money you have, it’s how you manage it that counts.”

7. “A penny saved is a penny earned – or two if you invest wisely!”

8. “Staying true to your budget is the key to financial success.”

9. “Riches come in all shapes and sizes – but it’s how you use them that matters most!”

10. “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure does help!”

10 Money Puns for Banks

1. I heard the bank was going broke, that’s really going to make withdrawals hard!

2. My friend told me he got a job at the bank. I said “You must be excited about all the coin you’ll get”

3. When my grandad went to the bank he asked for his balance, they said “you are worth every penny we have!”

4. The banker asked if I had any money in the bank—I replied with a pun and said “No…just some change!”

5. Why did the man leave the bank? He was fed up with their low interest rates!

6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator!

7. What did the bank teller say when I asked for a loan? “I’m sorry but it looks like you’ll have to save up!”

8. Why did the money go to the bank? It wanted to make some deposits!

9. What do bankers use when they need to cross the river? A financier bridge!

10. Why did the banker lock his safe before leaving work? He didn’t want anyone taking any interest in his savings!

10 Money Puns for Investors

1. Why did the investor call his stocks “The Fundamentals”? — Because they always made him money-mental!

2. What did the financial advisor say to the business owner who was having trouble managing his money? — He told him to “pocket some change” and get back on track.

3. How do traders measure their success? — By how many “dough-lars” they make!

4. What do investors say when they’ve invested too much in a single stock? — They say it’s time to “divide and conqueror”!

5. What type of currency does an investor need most? — “Dough-ray-me” of course!

6. What did the investor say when he made a million dollars? — “I am in the money!”

7. What does an investor call his portfolio at the end of the month when all of his stocks have gone up? — A “cash cow”!

8. Why did the stock market crash? — Because it was overvalued and needed to be taken down a “pie-ce” or two!

9. How do investors show they are successful with their investments? — By flashing their “moneybags” full of cash!

10. What did the investor say when he was asked if his stocks were doing well? — “They’re doing great! I’ve made a mint off of them!”

Bonus: What do you call a successful investor who never stops trying to make more money? — A “cash-flow master”!

10 Money Puns for Kids

1. “My piggy bank must have a hole in it, because my savings keep going down the drain!”

2. “Why did the penny cross the road? To get to the other dime!”

3. “What did one penny say to the other? Let’s stick together and make some cents!”

4. “What do you call a bear with no money? Penniless!”

5. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything but they’re so small you can’t even see them!”

6. “How does a rabbit save money? With a hare-brained scheme!”

7. “Where do all the coins go on vacation? To the Change-A-Lakes!”

8. “What did the nickel say to the penny? Let’s make some cents together!”

9. “Why don’t banks charge fees for keeping money? They want you to keep your hard earned cash!”

10. “How do bankers get rich? By counting other people’s money!”

10 Money Puns for Parents

1. “My kids always want me to buy them new toys – it’s so costly, I’m starting to feel like a parent bank!”

2. “My budget’s so tight – I’ll have to start counting my pennies if I want any more money!”

3. “I’m the real breadwinner in this house, but all my kids care about is doughnuts!”

4. “I can’t keep up with my child’s allowance demands – he must think I’m made of money!”

5. “When it comes to my children, there really are no checks and balances!”

6. “I’m always trying to reduce my spending, but it’s hard when I have to pay for little luxuries!”

7. “It seems like the only time I ever get extra money is when there are allowances due!”

8. “It feels like all the cash in my wallet is just going down a black hole!”

9. “Every time I reach into my pocket, it feels like I’m pulling out more lint than money!”

10. “My kids want me to buy them everything – if I don’t watch out, they’ll make me broke as a joke!”

10 Money Puns for Single People

1. “I don’t need a significant other, I just want someone to be my financial partner.”

2. “Single and not ready to mingle? That’s a-okay, as long as your bank account is still jingling!”

3. “Don’t worry about dating – it costs money! Save up for your dream car instead.”

4. “My love life is in the red, but at least my bank account isn’t!”

5. “Staying single may mean less drama – but more importantly, it means more dough in your wallet!”

6. “Being single has its advantages – No one can ever say ‘you’ve been spending too much money!'” 

7. “Do I need a significant other? Nah, I just need someone to help me budget!”

8. “If you’re single and looking for love – don’t forget to look in the bank first!”

9. “No relationship status? No problem! That just means more money for you.”

10. “I may not have a special someone, but at least I can spoil myself with my own cash!”

10 Money Puns for Dating

1. You and me are like a mutual fund—we’re better together!

2. Are you a banker? Because you’ve got my interest!

3. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for!

4. If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d be broke but happy!

5. You must be a bond because you have me secured tight!

6. Let’s double date…as in double your money back if it doesn’t work out?

7. How does it feel to be the 8th wonder of the world? Just asking because you’re definitely worth more than 8 cents!

8. You must be a stock, because you’re rising in value every day!

9. I heard my bank account calling me…it said, “Insufficient funds!”

10. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together!

10 Money Puns for Married Couples

1. “We’re in the honeymoon stage of our marriage – it’s money time!”

2. “What did the banker say when his wife asked him for a loan? Honey, I’m financially tapped out!”

3. “My wife and I are so in sync with our finances that we spend all our money together.”

4. “Our relationship is like a savings account – it just keeps growing and growing!”

5. “When my husband and I have financial disagreements, he usually ends up paying the price!”

6. “What does a married couple call two dollars? A start!”

7. “I told my wife she should invest more in our marriage but she said it would be too expensive!”

8. “I asked my wife if she wanted to save some money for a rainy day and she said ‘No, let’s just dance in the rain!'”

9. “My husband and I always split the finances down the middle – fifty-fifty is our motto!”

10. “Money may not buy happiness, but it can afford us a lot of date nights!”

10 Money Puns for Military Members

1. “I’m a soldier in the war on debt – I like to fire off some good budgeting strategies!”

2. “I enlisted in the army of savers – let’s march our way to financial freedom!”

3. “A wise man once said, ‘never leave your wallet behind.’ …And never forget your financial goals either!” 

4. “I was a financial paratrooper until I started saving – now I’m standing tall above my money goals!”

5. “My bank account is like an army base – always looking for more recruits!”

6. “Don’t be intimidated by debt – it’s nothing that some strategic budgeting can’t manage!”

7. “Managing your finances is no battlefield – just take it one step at a time and you’ll make it through!”

8. “I’m frugal in the trenches of spending, so I can achieve success with my savings later on!”

9. “Be a soldier against overspending – save your resources for the things that matter most.”

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